I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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