well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
