My girlfriend figured out who you are.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
