I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
vagina is talking i cant
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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