I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
