Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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