Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sext me about skeletons
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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