I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
