Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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