marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
