My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I forget how to act sober
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
