Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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