So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
