Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
