I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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