Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
tonight lets celebrate not being married
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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