Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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