Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
