I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
