Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
