great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
