Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
