I just threw up on my dentist
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
