So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
