Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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