i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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