After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize