Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
