I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
