there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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