I need to stop coming to work sober
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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