just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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