turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
