there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
