we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
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