Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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