I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
