So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
