Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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