I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
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