Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
