I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Buhtt sex?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
