i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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