Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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