me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
