Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
