called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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