in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
