Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
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I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
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I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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