what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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