I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
