I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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