I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You're a waste of cheezeits
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
