umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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