Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
