better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
