Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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