And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
