Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
