hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
