Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize