I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Mom said you looked used
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
