glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize