We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
